Can't offer my assistance, I'm busy mutlitasking.

No, sometimes I just can’t.  The children’s book “The Little Engine that Could” by Watty Piper is suppose to give confidence to young children that if they try hard enough, they can accomplish things they never thought possible. 

...and I'm texting.

Give me a break, I'm only 2 days old.

It is a nice story for children, and certainly true for everyone, to a point.  But recently, not true for me at all.  You may have noticed (but probably not) that I have not “blogged” on my site for quite a while.  I haven’t fallen off the end of the earth (or found the cure for Meniere’s) but I have been bogged down by a lot of different things currently going on.  Writing a blog should be no big deal and not take all that much time, but … Because of these “extra and unexpected” things that are going on I promised myself that I would “be good.  I will rest.  That is what I have been doing when not doing these extras that are in my schedule right now—resting.  I do not want my Meniere’s to get in the way; I do not want to get sick.  I am watching the fatigue and stress issues like a hawk.  I have had two, two-day episode of Meniere’s a few weeks ago, but other than that I have been feeling pretty well with the Meniere’s.  So yes, sometimes writing a blog entry, making a phone call, running an errand, or any one thing that I do not absolutely have to do, will just go on hold, or heavens forbid—not get done

Sorry, I can't help, I'm kind of busy here.

 So that’s it for now, next time something much more philosophical… ha!

I am not feeling well, I am out of sorts, do you not understand what I am trying to tell you here?

I'm tired too, but at least I make sense.

It’s the cold I had. It really knocked me for a loop.  Besides all the usual cold symptoms, this time I was totally exhausted.  Not just tired, or a little slow moving, but barely able to get out of bed for more than a few short periods during the day.  I napped during the day (which is almost unheard of for me) but was still able to sleep the whole night.  But worse than the exhaustion I felt with this cold was the increase in “the cotton head syndrome”.  This is my term I use to explain how my head feels with having Meniere’s.  It feels cloudy or foggy or thick, I don’t even know how to explain it.  And, it is always there to varying degrees.   It is the inability for me to think and to express myself clearly.  Sometimes my head feels so cloudy it is difficult for me think a thought through, but mostly my “cotton head” is displayed while trying to express myself.  I may know what I want to say, but just can’t think of the correct word/s, or how to put them together.  Sometimes it may be a single word, such as “please hand me the…. the, you know… the, the… you know that thing you use to take off the skin of the cucumber??? Yes, of course the peeler, what did you think I meant?”  Sometimes it’s whole thoughts I just can’t get into words.  I feel like I am playing charades or “guess what I am thinking?”  Thank goodness the people who know me know that I am not stupid (or, am I taking that for granted?).  It is often embarrassing especially with people I do not know, frustrating too.  For the most part, I try to make light of it, it can be rather comical at times.  When physicians ask Meniere’s patients about their symptoms, they ask about the number of episodes they have, how long they last, how far apart they have them.  They ask about vomiting, nausea, ear fullness, tinnitus, balance, and so forth.  I have never heard any doctor ask about “cotton head”.  Having spoken to many Meniere’s patients I know that I am not the only one who experiences this.  In fact,

WHAT are you thinking!!!!?

unscientifically (I’ve never done a study, or read one)  I can say that many Meniere’s patients do encounter this feeling.   I know after having children I had similar problems, which increased with each additional child (stopped at 3 so I wouldn’t go completely insane).  However, my “cotton head” is different from that.  It is more of an actual fuzzy or cloudy feeling in my head, and my difficulty with expressing myself is much more severe than calling one of the kids by his/her siblings’ or my spouse’s name.  I notice when I have increased fatigue or tinnitus, fullness, imbalance, headache (increased Meniere’s symptoms), or have an actual episode this “cotton head” of mine grows quite large (worse).  I just wanted to write about this today because I want other Meniere’s patients to know that if you have some of these same issues, you are not alone.  Also, you are not crazy – because if you are, that means I am too!

It’s that time of year again.  “Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat.”  Yes, HALLOWEEN is here again!  For all of you trick or treaters out there I have a few suggestions for you before you run out of the house in your costume to collect all your goodies.  If you must go begging in the dark, take your pumpkin-headed (or skull-headed, if you prefer) flashlight with you. 

Ha, ha! Two teeth are surely enough for trick or treating.

Keep it pointed to where you are walking so as not to trip.  No matter what you are going as wear flat shoes to keep balanced.  (Real French maids do not wear high heels.)  If you live in a warm climate do not go as anything in the animal kingdom–it’s too easy to get overheated while wearing fur. 

WHAT am I going as? A chippendale cowboy, silly!

If your treater gives you a choice, go for something non-chocolate.  Remember, caffeine is in chocolate and that is a trigger for a lot of you Meniere’s patients.  However, if you are the treater, push the chocolate just in case you have any leftover treats for yourself.  And don’t forget, your treats don’t have to last forever.  Quit your trick or treating before you get tired, there’s always next year.  Have fun and Happy Halloween!

I'm ready, is it time to go yet?

I'm pushing and pushing and I can't stop!

“Quit pushing!” I have been accused of pushing my entire life, for as long as I can remember.  Now don’t get the wrong idea.  I don’t literally push people around either physically or emotionally… not that I realize anyway.  My pushing involves pushing myself. 

How do I push my tongue thru this gum to make a bubble?

When the hula hoop craze was in, I guess that would have been around the early 60’s, I wanted one really bad.  My mom finally got me one and I was outside from morning to night hula hooping like some hula lunatic.  I wanted to be able to do it around my waist, up and down my body back and forth, around my legs, around one leg, around… well, whatever.  I didn’t have the sense to know when to quit.  I didn’t think that maybe I should take a break from hula hooping to play Barbie’s for awhile, or swing, or beat on my sister, or bug my brother. It seems like when I choose to do something I often go too far.  I now realize this about myself and therefore try to keep a cap on it, which is important for me to do having Meniere’s Disease.  When I go out to “tend” my flower beds (which anyone who knows me won’t believe because I have always hated this job in the past) I have to force myself to come in before I get overheated.  In TX, depending on the time of year, that may be only a five-minute window.  If my ears start getting more stuffy, or my tinnitus increases, or any of my other symptoms change I know I better stop immediately or the next thing I will be having an attack.  This does not apply to only physical activities but non-physical ones also.  No matter what activity I am doing, if I start getting fatigued or notice changes in my I still have difficulty with it, but the alternative is not a place I like to visit. 

I'm not pushing... I'm sucking!

For others of you having Meniere’s, try to keep in mind not to push.  Be cognitive of your limitations and listen to what your body tells you.  Hopefully this little tidbit of advice will help ward off a full-fledged Meniere’s attack.  It will certainly assist in reducing the “mini-attacks” and those times of just not feeling well.

I have no idea the age of those reading this but I think I may have grown up in a different time than a lot of you.  While growing up, when I rode in the car there was no such thing as air bags, infant and children car seats, or even seat

Ultimate safety -- your very own Superman

belts.  Kids rode in the car in the front, back, standing on the hump, lying on the “shelf” by the back window, upside down, backwards… you get the picture.  The biggest safety help was the handle hanging on each side of the backseat that you could grab if travelling over bumpy terrain.  Thank goodness for all the safety rules, regulations, and aids we have for travelling today.   Well, this entry today is not about automobile safety but rather safety in general for those of us with Meniere’s Disease.

Over the years I have talked to many patients about this issue. 

After inspection, this sidewalk looks safe

It is really very simple; we do not want to fall.  We keep our balance through three inputs to our brain – vision, inner ear, and somatosensory (sensations received through the skin).  If any of these inputs are compromised we may have problems with balance.  As Meniere’s patients, our inner ear(s) is (are) not working properly and we are therefore more prone to losing our balance.  It is very important for us to get as much information from visual and somatosensory cues as possible.  The following suggestions are really just common sense, but often times overlooked.

Eating waffles while bathing, safe? Hmmmmm...

Always have enough light (visual).
 Keep nightlights on in your bedroom and bathroom for getting up at night.
 Never enter a dark room even in your own home.
 When staying elsewhere over night, take nightlights or leave the bathroom light on.
 At night always park in a well-lit area or use valet parking.
 Take walks during daylight hours.
 Carry flashlights in your car, when you travel, and several places around your home for unexpected times of darkness.
 Keep extra light bulbs for needed changes.
 Wear your glasses as needed.

Use smooth walkways (somatosensory).
 Keep traffic areas in your home free of clutter. Make sure family members are also aware of this.  If you have young children or grandchildren living with you, do a double check before going to bed so as not to trip later.
 Wear shoes (you women out there) that allow you to still be able to “feel” where and what you are walking on.
 The path from bed to bathroom should be free of too thick or too flimsy of a throw rug – actually anyplace in your house but especially those areas used at night.
 Stay away from or be very careful with graveled, stoned, or unevenly paved parking lots or walkways.  That goes for grassy, hilly, or any uneven surface, especially in the evening or at night!

The hat shields me from the sun, the shoes?... a fashion statement!

Rather simple, keep the lights on and watch where you are walking.  Never be apprehensive about asking for assistance, we all can use some now and then.  Listen to your body regarding stress, heat, fatigue, and other triggers you may have.  Keep healthy, keep safe, and always keep your sense of humor!

Movement, colors, lights, sounds... some would say this is overstimulation

Recently I went to Michigan, where I was born, grew up, and lived for 40 years, for a visit.  My parents, sister Mary Anne, and my aunt and uncle still live there. Michigan is a beautiful state where there is a lot to see and do.  However, when I go, I usually just hang out and visit with family.

This trip Mary Anne and her boyfriend took me to one of Detroit’s casinos for an afternoon to play penny slots.  My sister knows all the casino games and is quite good at them, she seems to win more than she loses. I did not get that gene.  The most I can handle is the penny slots, which Mary Anne introduced me to on our first annual cruise (we’ve been on 5 or 6 by now).

LOTS of cars & trucks can never be overstimulating!

  It is fun and if you are even halfway lucky you can play quite a while for $20. I took nothing with me except my money and my driver’s license so as not to worry about keeping track of anything.  (That means no earplugs that are always in my purse.)

Entering the casino you are overwhelmed by all the noise, smoke, flashing lights, hoards of people, and that multi-colored, multi-patterned carpeting you must walk on.  This “real” casino is huge in every way compared to the cruise ship’s “mini” casino. I walked through the casino holding onto Mary Anne (that colorful, swirling carpet makes me swirl).  We quickly found the “good” machines and parked ourselves there as we started the quest for a “jackpot”.  I think we were there for a few hours, getting up only for bathroom breaks and changing to “better” machines.  On one of my bathroom breaks (one taken by myself with no one to hold onto) I was overcome with feelings of dizziness, tinnitus, aural fullness, and nausea.  I barely made it to the stall before getting sick.  I sat in the stall for quite a while before I felt well enough to call (thank goodness for cell phones) my sister to let her know where I was and that I needed help. 

A lifesaver watching out for you is always a plus.

The little sister came to rescue her big sister.  Luckily this was not a full fledge can’t get up off the floor Meniere’s attack, but a mini.  Mary Anne and her boyfriend literally dragged me out of the casino to the car.  Oh, the looks and comments I am sure I got that evening!

I got back to my sister’s, went to bed, and woke up feeling fine in the morning.  I was lucky.  As I have mentioned before, my main triggers for Meniere’s are fatigue, stress, and heat.  But, the next one after that is over-stimulation. My casino experience was a perfect example of that.  You would think I would know better by now, but… Remember your own triggers – and try to listen better than I did.

What do you mean this isn't good for me?

We are well into summer now.   It seems to me that even if not off vacationing or doing something really fun like kayaking (never done it but it seems like it would be a great sport), summer is just a more carefree time.   Most of us are outside more and participating in more spur of the moment activities.   There are the impromptu barbecues, swim parties, getting together on the porch and drinking beer parties… as they say, “whatever floats your boat!”

Even though summer is a more relaxed time in my mind, as a Meniere’s patient I have to remember not to get too crazy.  

Hmmmmmm... you say french fries are high in salt?

Summer is hot, especially here in Texas.   I have to curtail my time out in the sun and heat so as not to get overheated, take to the shade for awhile or inside for a dose of A/C.   I also have to keep in mind not to overextend myself as far as activities go.   Fatigue is definitely one of my main triggers.   I have to take things as they go, rest when I am tired, and try to get plenty of sleep at night.   Also, doesn’t it seem like there is more food and drink around during this time of year especially on the weekends?   Caffeinated beverages and high salt foods seem to be around in megadoses.   These are big “don’ts” for most Meniere’s patients.

YES, I promise I am sleeping!

I hope anyone reading this is having a great summer of fun and relaxation.   The information here is common sense for all of us, but sometimes we just have to be reminded.   Enjoy the rest of your summer, tomorrow we will be dragging out the Christmas decorations.

I'm relaxing, just give me the clicker!

I am finally starting to return to my more “normal” self (I put that in quotes since some of my family, namely my children, think I am weird).   Having back to back episodes is very unusual for me, at least during the last five years or so.   When I think about what may have caused an attack it almost becomes an “eeny, meeny, miny, moe” situation.   I know the things for me to stay away from and the things to do for myself to stay healthy. 

This digging is a lot of exercise.

So, when I do have an attack I might be 100 percent correct on what I think the reason is, but then again, I could be totally wrong.

That’s the thing with Meniere’s, there is no test, secret sign, smoke signals, writing in the clouds, instant message, psychic, magic eight ball (remember those?), etc. to let you know if your “guess” is correct.  

This last March I was involved in an auto collision where I was rear ended while my car was at a complete stop.   Since then I have had problems with my neck, left shoulder, and left arm.   These problems have included pain, loss of full mobility, tingling, and numbness.   Just like everyday is not the same with my Meniere’s Disease, it is also not the same with the amount and degree of neck, shoulder, and arm problems I experience.   During the time just prior to my latest two episodes, I had been having severe neck pain for several days.   I personally feel it was the increased pain I was dealing with that set off the attacks.   Pain is very stressful for out bodies.   Doctors prescribe pain medications not only for the comfort of the patient, but also to decrease the stress on the body caused by the pain, so the patient will be able to heal more quickly.

... I'm stressed out with all this work!

My recommendation for those of you with Meniere’s is what I try to follow myself.   Try to keep as healthy as possible.   Eat sensibly, take relaxation time, exercise, get proper sleep, and pop a vitamin pill with any other meds you may be taking.   Use common sense when it comes to hand washing, steering clear of sick friends, sharing food, and so forth.   The healthier we keep our bodies, the stronger we will be to keep Meniere’s at bay.

(Yawn) this is getting tiresome.

In my last posting I reviewed the Meniere’s episode I just recently experienced.  As I stated, when you have one of these “attacks” it is devastating.  During the episode, I just want to be put out of my misery.  It is the worst, the very worst I can imagine feeling, at least during that time.  Of course, when I start feeling like I might make it through and back to the human race, I change my mind, I want to carry on and be a strong person.  I want to get back to my family, friends, activities, and ice cream.  Having had two attacks back to back (in fact, exactly one week apart) was a real downer for me.  I was just starting to get back to feeling somewhat normal for me (my family and I disagree regarding my level of normalcy).  And then BAM, another attack!  What a blow that was.  I can confess that not only did I feel horrible physically, but also emotionally. I cried, felt sorry for myself, and was just downright miserable.  It actually helped me to have a good cry (men don’t get that but I think my fellow women Meniere’s sufferers do).  As soon as I start feeling physically better, I have to start working on my emotional health.  I have to make an effort to be positive, look at all my blessings and be thankful for them.  As I wrote in the last blog, it had been at least 8 months since a previous episode.  To have two in a row is extremely unusual for me.  Stress, fatigue, and heat are the main culprits. 

STOP! I've had enough, no more.

When contemplating the possible reason(s) I had these two back to back attacks, I think I may have come up with the answer.  Of course, there is no way to tell for sure. I will address this in a another blog, hopefully soon.

Bunny is always there for me, even when I am sick

As I stated in my first blog entry, living with Meniere’s has become a part of my life, a part of who I am.  I’ve learned to live with my daily symptoms, my dietary restrictions, the meds I take to control it, lifestyle changes to accommodate it, and so forth—I am sure you get the picture.  The most difficult aspect for me, as I am sure it is for anyone with this disease, is having an episode or “attack”.  I hadn’t had one for a while, maybe 8 months or so, but I have just now gotten over one.  Enough for being strong. I can’t think of anything worse while I am having an attack than what I am going through during that time.  When it is all over and I’ve gotten back to status quo, then I can think of many things that would or could be worse.  For those of you who are inexperienced in these matters, let me describe to you how an episode feels for me.  My head explodes with pain and my ears feel the size of Good Year blimps.  I can’t hear anything, let alone the dropping of a pin… or a bomb.  The noises in my head are louder than sitting in the first row behind the band at a HS football game (btw, high school football is huge here in TX). Vertigo starts the nausea, which is greater than the morning sickness I had with all 3 of my kids combined.  Always, the very worst part is the 2 Vs – vertigo and vomiting.  To spin so violently that my husband, Ed, has to lift me off the bathroom floor and get me to the bed is not my idea of an enchanted evening.  I vomit not only my guts out but also all the rest of my internal organs.

feeling a little better now

Whenever I have an episode, which I call an “attack”, since that is certainly what it feels like, it will be similar to what I have just described.  The difference for me is in how long it lasts.  This time I would give it a five on my 1-10 scale.  I started having increased tinnitus (ear noises), ear fullness, headache, and decreased hearing after getting up in the morning.  As the day progressed so did my symptoms.  By late afternoon the vertigo and nausea started and by 7 PM I was vomiting.  The vomiting lasted off and on for about three hours.  Throughout the night I still had all the other symptoms.  By morning (around 9 AM) I started feeling somewhat more human again, aside from being totally wiped out as if I had run a very long marathon.  Of course, since I have never run a marathon, let alone walk one in my entire life, I am just assuming how that would feel.  That day I did nothing of any consequence.  It is important for me to just lay around, rest, and be lazy.

back to status quo--yeah!!!

Anyone who has Meniere’s disease will have attacks similar to mine, but each of us will have our differences.  I know the one thing that is the same for all of us, that is when we have returned to our norm we are relieved and extremely grateful that it is over… and hope never to have another, ever!  If you do not have Meniere’s (lucky you), you can’t really understand how devastating it can be and how helpless it makes you feel.  So for those who do have Meniere’s, sharing your feelings and experiences, information like this blog, or web sites such as www.dizziness-and-balance.com with your family and friends will help them to understand your illness and assist you through the difficult times.  There is nothing better than help and understanding when you are sick…especially if mom can’t be there taking care of you anymore.